Philippians 4:13 reads, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” At first glance, this seems like such an easy way to live life. If I pray hard enough, then I will never have any obstacles. Understanding that Paul speaks more from the perspective of understanding that we are limited as human beings, but that we can continue or rather endure hardships or challenges, gives light to this verse in a different way.
Before becoming a parent, I knew that there would be things about having children that would challenge me, but there was no way to really anticipate how much I would be challenged. Of course, the high moments always outshine the challenging ones, but there are days where I wonder what is the right path forward. Our daughter, Elizabeth, who just celebrated her first birthday, has been dealing with a dairy allergy. Seeing her break out in hives for the first time was incredibly scary as a parent and left us confused and heartbroken that there was only so much we could do for her at that moment. With time, we figured out the source of her allergy, and we have figured out a lot of dairy-free options so she can have a relatively normal diet.
A recurring pain for us as parents is that we can’t fix this for her. Turning back to the verse above, at first it would seem that in this case, I cannot do all things through Christ. We can’t just magically make the allergy go away. But in understanding the true context for this verse, we can find the strength needed to navigate our daughter’s allergy through Christ. We can be strengthened to help her and give her as much comfort as possible by turning to Christ and praying for the clarity that we need.
The gifts of the Holy Spirit come to mind and I imagine perhaps we don’t always think to apply them to everyday typical life and reserve them for matters explicitly spiritual. But why not use these gifts in matters of daily life? The Holy Spirit offers these gifts through the Sacrament of Baptism and are strengthened in Confirmation to help us live out our lives connected to our Lord. The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety and fear of God.
With our daughter’s allergy, I look especially toward the gifts of counsel, fortitude and fear of God. In praying for the gift of counsel, my husband and I ask the Lord to bless us to best understand what we need to do as Elizabeth’s parents concerning her allergy. Dealing with an allergy such as this is something totally new for us as parents, and even in a matter such as this, we want God to walk with us as we discern what is best for our daughter’s health. We ask for fortitude so we do not grow weary as we navigate this situation.
As I mentioned above, we as parents know that this suffering is not part of God’s plan, but asking for the strength to always keep that in mind can help us as we work through any unknowns ahead. Finally, we ask to be blessed with the gift of fear of God. This one sounds odd at first, but this gift aims to orient our lives so that we are afraid of being separated from the Lord, not that we are fearful of the Lord as it initially reads. Even with a challenge such as this, we are called to praise the Lord. It is also an opportunity for us as parents to unite our suffering to Christ’s on the cross and to offer that for the sake of our daughter. Be it the emotional or mental weight of learning to manage this allergy, or any suffering for that matter, we can try to become closer to Christ even in this scenario.
It is also important for us to remember that things like pain and suffering were never a part of God’s design for us as humans. They are a result of sin entering the world through Adam and Eve’s transgressions in the garden. In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, we read, “God is in no way, directly or indirectly, the cause of moral evil” (CCC 385). Knowing this is a comfort for us too and helps us to stay close to the Lord in painful situations. Just as we don’t want our daughter to experience pain and suffering, the Lord does not want His children to suffer.
I pray that this is something that passes for our daughter so that she can live a life without dietary restrictions, but I know that even if it doesn’t, we will be able to navigate it together with the Lord. We can’t make it go away — we are limited in that sense — but we can figure out the best path forward because we have Christ by our side to give us strength.