Dear Father,
I’ve been to a few weddings and noticed that at Catholic weddings, the rings are blessed. I’ve not noticed this at other weddings. Why are Catholic wedding rings blessed? Does this change anything in the marriage?
-Thomas
Dear Thomas,
Wedding rings are blessed in Catholic matrimonial rites because the ring becomes a sign of the marriage vows. Some people mistakenly think that the exchange of rings is the actual moment that a man and woman are wed.
The sacrament of matrimony occurs when a baptized man and a baptized woman finish pronouncing their wedding vows to each other, in the presence of the Church’s duly appointed minister.
The exchange of rings, the big bouquets of flowers, the large retinue of groomsmen and bridesmaids, the tuxedos and expensive dresses, are all extras that do not affect the actual act of contracting marriage. Some of these things, especially the rings, add special meaning to the wedding. But if the ring bearer accidentally dropped the rings while processing into the church, and they rolled into a sewer, the essence of the marriage would not change. The gold and diamond rings do not make the marriage; valid consent does.
In an older form of the rite of marriage, there was an option for the groom, while placing the ring on the bride’s finger, to say: “With this ring I thee wed, and I promise unto thee my fidelity.” However, this formula never replaced the words of consent.
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In the current form of the rite of marriage, the groom and bride each say (presuming each will wear a ring): “(Name of person), receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
The present formula makes it clear that rings are symbolic. The wedding ring worn on the ring finger represents the wedding vows. Rings are visible reminders to the wearer and others that the individual has irrevocably given his or her entire life to the spouse. Invoking the names of the Blessed Trinity during the ring exchange, adds a layer of Christian solemnity to the sign of the ring.
Nevertheless, both in the old and new rites for Catholic marriage, the priest blesses the ring(s). Sometimes, by their choice, only the bride wears a ring, and not the groom. The priest makes the sign of the cross over the rings while praying the blessing and then sprinkles them with Holy Water.
One of the possible formulas for the blessing emphasizes marital virtues: “Bless, O Lord, these rings which we bless in your name, so that those who wear them may remain entirely faithful to each other, abide in peace and in your will, and live always in mutual charity.”
Of course, the wearing of the ring does not automatically cause fidelity or living in the will of God or mutual charity. Rather, the prayer focuses on the wearing of the ring so that the bearer will see the ring, feel the weight of the ring, and conform his or her mind and will to marital virtues.
Moreover, the ring is a sign to others of the spousal relationship, especially when the husband and wife are not in each other’s immediate presence. The ring signals to others that this person is spoken for in a marriage. The removal of a ring, outside of legitimate necessity, sends the wrong signal. There are widows and widowers who insist on wearing their wedding rings years after the death of their spouse, so much do they wish to tell the world of their love.
Canon Law (no. 1055) says that the marriage covenant, “by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of their whole life, and which of its own very nature is ordered to the well-being of the spouses and to the procreation and upbringing of children, has, between the baptized, been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.”
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The marriage ring is a sign of a covenant relationship. Unlike a contract, which stipulates legal transactions (you do this for me, and I’ll do that for you), a covenant is a binding relationship agreement. In the marriage covenant, both the groom and bride give themselves completely to each other, holding nothing back from each other, until death. This is not ownership of another. It is self-donation.
The greatest sign of the wedding ring is the covenant relationship that God has initiated with us through the death and resurrection of his Son, Jesus Christ. St. Paul exhorts husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her” (Eph. 5:25). A man leaves his father and mother and holds fast to his wife, St. Paul says, such that “ “‘the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church (Eph. 5:31-32).
We have all the more reason to invoke God’s blessing on wedding rings because they express in visible form the love of Christ for the Church and for each one of us, married or single. As such, blessed wedding rings are sacramentals.