Anyone with little kids knows how getting everyone out of the house for Mass or anywhere can feel overwhelming. If your kids are anything like mine, they will suddenly become the world’s slowest eaters on Sunday mornings. Not only will they eat their cereal but they’ll eat up the extra few minutes gained by getting everyone up early. It’s no wonder so many young families feel stuck or unsure of how to engage in parish life beyond Mass. Engaging in parish life and allowing the parish to become a third place for your family is important not only for our own spiritual growth but will help our children stay connected to the faith throughout their lives.
Sometimes the best thing we can do to engage in parish life is just show up with no expectations. One thing that can cause us to pause or halt altogether, not only as parents, but as people in general, is the fear that things have to go perfect. It’s an all or nothing mentality that can get in our way. In the first year of being a parent, this was a tremendous temptation for me and I would nitpick over things not going how I felt they “ought to” go even if nothing really went wrong. When it comes to getting involved in parish life with a young family, there is a level of acceptance for things to get a little messy that we need to overcome. Nap times may be disrupted and meltdowns can happen, but being a part of parish life is worth the time spent out of routine. For us as parents, this might mean taking turns putting the kids to bed to allow your spouse the time to attend an event or weekly Bible study. For the family as a whole, find those events that work for your family and enjoy growing in community with those around you.
But what if you feel like there is nothing for your family? It’s all too easy to sit back and wish that things were different or that an opportunity was offered and run by other people. But in all likelihood, if you are feeling there is a need in your parish, there are others feeling the same thing. This is a chance to be a part of the change to fill those needs. Something as simple as helping to organize a donut social after Mass once a month or a stay and play event are two low cost, low effort ideas to help foster connection among families at your parish. I know that at our parish, we love our monthly donut socials and watching our kids and others play in the “mosh pit,” as my husband calls it, at the back of the room. The smiles on all of their faces as they run around aimlessly tell you they feel comfortable not only with each other but with their environment. If you are looking to get one started, I would suggest lots of sprinkle donuts for the kids and a donation basket to collect for the following month’s donuts until more secure budgeting can be found.
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Parish life isn’t just what happens within a building though. As members of the Body of Christ, we are called to be on mission wherever our days take us, extending the very parish itself, beyond any physical boundaries. Actively living the faith at home, fostering community among other young families, and serving others in your community are just a few ways we can extend our parish life. And the best part is that none of this needs to be complicated or time consuming. I think about the fellow parents bringing home a newborn and how much bringing a meal means to them. Or how a playdate can provide some much needed adult conversation for not only myself but for other parents as well. In rethinking what parish life is and how we can go beyond the walls, we open up ourselves for greater opportunity to live and share the faith within hectic schedules.
For families with young children, these small steps can make a world of difference because getting involved in parish life isn’t about perfect participation, it’s about presence over time. The Lord doesn’t care if you come with slightly messy hair or mismatched socks. He cares that you are there. Just like Jesus multiplying the loaves and fishes to feed thousands, he can multiply what we can offer. Your family might not be in a place to take on a donut social once a month and that is okay. Showing up however you are able is still a big step towards engaging in parish life.