This is the third column in a series on deacons and diakonia.

As I continue these reflections on deacons and the diaconate, and now that we’ve talked some about who deacons are, another area to explore is what I’m going to call mindset – the attitude – approach – how deacons can and should relate to others in the clergy and laity, in diocesan and parish structures. I want to offer a consideration of the most effective ways for deacons’ minds and hearts to be set.


This aspect of our ministry is the bridge between who we are and what we do as deacons. While who we are is to be the strong foundation on which our diakonia grows and is built up successfully, we also want that bridge from who we are to what we do to be strong as well – to be structurally sound.


Regarding the diaconal mindset, I want to touch on several facets that make deacons effective: humility, strength, holiness, gratitude and the role of intermediary. My starting point is humility.
I’ll call this the first pillar in the bridge I’m talking about. This is so, so very important to being a deacon – the first pillar we need to put down in our lives as deacons. No deacon can truly succeed if he does not embrace humility – really grasp it and hold it tight. To me, it’s another vital key to being successful and happy as a deacon. A deacon who does not understand and cherish humility and live it actively will find himself unhappy – maybe slightly so – maybe even so unhappy he’s miserable.


Let me start with a thought from Pope Francis: “Firstly, I expect you to be humble. It is sad to see a bishop and a priest showing off, but it is even sadder to see a deacon wanting to put himself at the center of the world, or at the center of the liturgy, or at the center of the Church. Be humble. Let all the good you do be a secret between you and God. And so, it will bear fruit.” Pope Francis to the Deacons of Rome, June 19, 2021


There it is. Right out of the gate, as the old adage says, and what a great thought to begin with. Pope Francis, who himself is a wonderful sign of humility and service, very clearly called deacons to humility and said exactly how to do that. He was a great example to follow.


This was not a guideline or suggestion he offered. He said, “I expect you to be humble. Not “It would be nice,” not “I invite,” not “I encourage,” not “I recommend.” “I expect.” These are the words of a father giving clear direction and instruction to his children – and I consider our Pope a spiritual father to all clergy in the world.


For those of us who are parents, I encourage you to think of what goes through or went through our minds when we said “I expect” or its equivalent to our own children. It was not open to negotiation. We wanted cooperation. In the spirit, the Holy Father was very clear, and it’s vital we all follow that directive, especially deacons as ordained signs of diakonia.


I know our own Bishop Earl Fernandes embraces humility as well. The first time I spoke with him when we were preparing to announce his appointment as Bishop of Columbus, I said to him, “I look forward to serving you.” His answer was, “Thank you. I look forward to serving you.” There are plenty of times at an episcopal Mass when I vested that I saw Bishop Fernandes donning both a dalmatic and a chasuble. As the Bishop, he embraces and cherishes his diakonia along with his role as the shepherd of our diocese. Like the Pope, he is another example for all people – clergy and laity alike – to follow.


Lastly, and most importantly, in walking the path of humility, we are doing as Jesus said and did. In the Gospel of Matthew, He gives this instruction: “Do not be called ‘Master’; you have but one master, the Messiah. The greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted (Mt 23:12).”


Jesus’ earthly ministry was a series of examples of humility, from His birth in the stable to His death and resurrection. He humbled himself by sharing in our humanity and gives us we have the opportunity to share in his divinity. The path to that divinity lies in reminding ourselves every day that the only way to get there is by letting go of that illusion that we control our destiny and putting God in charge, doing that day after day, week after week, and year after year.


Jesus teaches us that we will achieve this by understanding that there is one master in life, and it is the Lord and not us. To live a life of humility means actively recognizing that God is in charge and not assuming that we are the master of our fate and existence, seeking to have faith in him continually as well as determining and carrying out his will for us, avoiding the assumption that we alone know best, avoiding the instinctive desire to put ourselves first. In the end, the path to true happiness lays in God’s way, the way of living and thinking humbly.