Years ago, I connected with Mitch, a Catholic going through divorce after a 15-year marriage. Mitch had found my contact information on our website, DivorcedCatholicColumbus.org, and reached out for support in “reengaging” with the Church.

I asked Mitch what he meant by “reengagment.” How did he become “disengaged”? Sadly, Mitch thought that as a divorced Catholic he didn’t belong anymore. “After all,” he said, “I knew I certainly couldn’t go to communion.” 

In the many years that I have been involved in ministry to separated and divorced Catholics, I have heard this statement often, from men and women: “If you are Catholic, and you become divorced, you’re out.” 

This is a demonic, vicious lie. 

It is one of many that Satan will spread (through ill-informed Catholics) to cause despair and separation between God’s Church and those members of the flock during a time when they need Christ’s divine mercy. 

While we Catholics might experience a rate of divorce a little lower than in the greater culture, we, too, see divorce running rampant in our lives and in our families. Almost anyone reading this has been impacted, either personally or through a family member or close friend, by divorce. 

And yet, how many of us have tried to learn what the Church teaches? Or have we gone along with what we’ve heard?

Let’s address a few of these myths:


Divorced Catholics cannot 

receive communion

Here’s the fact: Any Catholic, single, married or divorced, who is living within the precepts of Church teaching, may present themselves for the Eucharist.  

The issue is not about being divorced per se; rather, it becomes an issue when a Catholic divorces and then remarries outside of the Church, without a prior annulment. As far as the Church is concerned, that person is still married to his or her prior spouse, which means the “new” marriage is not valid and thus the person is living in an adulterous relationship. 

In this case, such a person is not living within the precepts of Church teaching, and this would typically prevent the receiving of Holy Communion. 

This myth has likely led to another one:


Divorce means excommunication

Divorce itself does not affect a person’s status in the Catholic Church. Divorce is a function of civil law and secular courts, not the Church. Jesus, and thus the Church, did not recognize divorce in the New Covenant. A valid marriage is a sacramental union by God that man cannot break. This leads to another myth:


An annulment is just a ‘Catholic divorce’

Civil divorce and a Church annulment are different. For example: 

• A divorce is concerned only with the legal realities of marriage: the contract; an annulment is concerned with the religious and spiritual elements of marriage: the covenant. 

• A divorce focuses on the end of a marriage; an annulment looks at the beginning: what was in the couple’s hearts and minds when they said, “I do.” 

• A divorce looks at marriage in civil law; an annulment looks at marriage from the perspective of the Gospel and Church doctrine. 

On the first point above, I share a reminder of a fundamental tenet of Church teaching regarding marriage. Our culture literally views marriage as a legal contract. God has defined it as a covenant, which is the model He has laid out as the foundation of His relationship with humanity (rooted in unconditional love, and Catholic marriage is intended to represent this). 

So what’s the difference between the two? Here it is: 

• A contract states: “I will do my part if you do yours.”

• A covenant states: “I will do my part whether or not you do yours.”

This is a tall order, but as Christians, that is what God asks of us (and we fail every day). Again, it is the foundation of His relationship with us. We break our covenant with God each time we sin, and yet He does His part by always extending His divine mercy when we repent.

There is no “Catholic divorce.” The annulment process in the Church is an extension of God’s mercy for imperfect Catholics living in an imperfect world. 

Not all marriages begin as they should, and some people (even Catholics) will marry for the wrong reasons or with ignorance of the reality of what marriage is in the eyes of God. These unions are invalid from the beginning, and an annulment recognizes this.

To learn more, visit our website, DivorcedCatholicColumbus.org, to download our fact sheet: “13 Myths about Marriage, Divorce, and Annulments in the Catholic Church.” If you know someone experiencing marital separation or divorce, he or she needs God’s mercy. May you be God’s instrument to this end. 

Keith F. Luscher returned to the Church following a 21-year absence. He is  happily remarried, living in Newark. He divides his time between Columbus St. Catharine Church  and Newark St. Francis de Sales Church. He is co-founder of Non Solum Columbus and can be reached at [email protected] or at (614) 205-0830. Learn more about the apostolate at DivorcedCatholicColumbus.org.