Dear Father: I lost my wonderful husband to a tragic accident when we had been married only 19 years. Our children are grown and on their own. I’ve never been interested in remarrying. I’m not bashful to tell you that I’m in my 60s. I feel called to serve God in some special way as a widow. Is there a special sacrament for me as a widow? – Marlene
Dear Marlene: I’m very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine that you still feel the emptiness and pain in greater or lesser degrees. The suffering of losing a loved one is unfathomable. How we need our Blessed Mother in these situations to help us get through them with her love and presence, she who lost both her husband and only Son.
God definitely has a special place in His heart for widows. Throughout the Old Testament, He warned against afflicting widows and orphans, for they are among the most alone and in need of protection. The Psalms, in particular, reveal that God defends widows and orphans and that He avenges those who abuse them in any way.
In the Gospels, too, Christ showed special love for widows. One miracle He worked was for a widow whose son had just died. Luke 7:13 tells us that Christ’s heart was moved with pity when He saw the woman whose son was being carried out of the city to be buried. Jesus raised him from the dead and restored him to his mother so that the young man could continue to care for her needs.
The Fathers of the Church comment on how our Lord must have seen, in the widows whom He met, a foreshadowing of His own mother’s future sorrow when He would die on the cross. And from the cross, He gave the care of His mother to St. John, standing with Mary at the foot of the cross. This was because, it is easy to surmise, St. Joseph had died, leaving Mary a widow. In this scene, her only Son is now being taken away.
There is also the incident of the widow going up to the temple to worship God. She wanted to make her financial offering of coins worth only about a penny, but she gave them anyway. Jesus taught His disciples that she had given more than a rich person because she had given all, her whole living.
I can’t help but wonder if our Lord is also referring to that widow as having given her all to God. Perhaps she had dedicated herself to God, like Anna in the Gospel of St. Luke. We are told that she was always in the temple and that’s how she met Jesus as an infant when He was brought to the temple by His parents 40 days after His birth.
St. Luke tells us that Anna never left the temple, and that she served God night and day with fasting and prayer. (Luke 2:36-38)
Your wish to “serve God in some special way as a widow” appears very much like the vocation of Anna in the temple. I am confident that our Lord is very pleased by your desire.
Christ instituted seven sacraments, but He did not create a special sacrament for widows. Nevertheless, the early Christians in the decades and centuries after our Lord’s Ascension intuited His particular love for widows. Thus, the Christian community gave them a special place in their hearts and in the Church.
We know from the writings of the Apostles that there was a particular “order” or group for widows. St. Paul refers to “enrolling widows” (1 Timothy 5:9), which indicates that these women were to receive special treatment. In part, this arose from the fact of a society where women were financially dependent on men, be it their husbands, or, after the death of their husbands, on their sons. A woman with neither husband nor son was particularly vulnerable.
While there is no sacrament for widows, Pope St. John Paul II wrote this in Vita Consecrata: “Through the vow of perpetual chastity as a sign of the Kingdom of God, (widows) consecrate their state of life to dedicate themselves to prayer and to the service of the Church.”
There are a number of consecrated widows in Europe. In fact, Pope Francis met with a group of these ladies who were on pilgrimage to the Eternal City in 2018. Some of them belong to groups such as Fraternite Notre Dame de la Resurrection and the Community of Anne the Prophetess. The pope heartily encouraged them to live their vocation as consecrated widows.
You are not the first to inquire about a special role for widows in the Church here in the United States. I know that Bishop Earl Fernandes of our Diocese of Columbus is looking into the possibilities.
I would be happy to keep you informed if you write to me at [email protected]. If you have friends who share your desire, have them write to me as well. God bless you!
