Dear Father,
I’m in a quandary because I am getting married on a Friday. I know that the Catholic tradition is to not eat meat on Fridays. Am I allowed to serve meat at my reception? Do I have to serve only fish or vegetarian items? My fiancé is worried about giving scandal to our guests (almost all of them are very traditional Catholics).
-Olive
Dear Olive,
Your question about the traditional Friday penance raises a good point. What exactly is the Catholic teaching about Fridays? The answer depends on the particular Friday in question.
Before the Second Vatican Council, Catholics were required to abstain from meat on every Friday. In fact, it was considered sinful if someone deliberately ate meat on a Friday out of contempt for the Church’s rule. Accidental consumption of meat, for example, due to forgetfulness, was not a sin. It is no longer sinful to eat meat on Fridays, although any form of contempt for the Church’s teaching and laws remains sinful.
On Good Friday, the annual celebration of the day on which Christ died for us, Catholics both abstain from meat and fast. We do this to honor Christ for his suffering and ignominious death as well as to prepare to participate in his Easter Resurrection. We also abstain from meat and fast on Ash Wednesday.
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Fasting means, minimally, eating no more than “one full meal, as well as two smaller meals that together are not equal to a full meal” (USCCB on Fast and Abstinence). The fasting rule for Good Friday is obligatory for Catholics aged 19-59. To be sure, this does not preclude younger or older people from fasting. Those preparing for baptism or full admission to the Church through the Order of Christian Initiation (OCIA) should also fast.
While the Good Friday fast pertains to the 24-hour day, it has been the tradition to continue fasting through Holy Saturday until the Easter Vigil.
Abstinence from meat is obligatory on Good Friday and all Fridays of Lent for those who have reached the age of 15 and onward. No one is required to eat fish on these Fridays; only to abstain from meat.
We find an exception to the obligation to abstain from meat on Fridays of Lent when there is a universal solemn celebration. This can occur if the Solemnity of Saint Joseph (March 19) falls on a Friday of Lent. The same holds true for the Solemnity of the Annunciation, Christ’s conception in the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary (March 25). If either of these solemnities falls on Good Friday, then the Solemnity is transferred to another day.
People sometimes confuse Good Friday with Easter Friday. The difference is that Good Friday is before Easter and Easter Friday is after Easter. Easter Friday is treated like a solemnity in the Church, and therefore, Catholics are free to feast with meat.
We continue to abstain from meat on Fridays, even after Vatican II. As the US Bishops explained, all have sinned and therefore all are required to do penance. In other words, while we believe in God’s forgiveness of our repented sins, it is a matter of justice to beseech God for unrepented sins and offer him homage for his divine mercy. Friday penance is an ancient Christian practice, by which people have continued to unite their sufferings, both voluntary and involuntary, with Christ’s.
We do penance not only for our personal sins, but for the whole world. There is no exemption from the obligation to do penance. Even our Blessed Mother, alone exempt from Original Sin and all personal sins, did penance for love of her Son and his flock.
Our Bishops insist that we set Friday, the day Jesus died, apart for acts of penance. Each Friday is a preparation for our weekly celebration of Christ’s resurrection on each Sunday.
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In our own day, the Bishops have noted, “the renunciation of the eating of meat is not always and for everyone the most effective means of practicing penance. Meat was once an exceptional form of food; now it is commonplace.” While there are other legitimate pleasures we can renounce on Fridays as an offering to God, abstaining from meat remains the best practice.
In fact, in Columbus, Bishop Fernandes urged his people to maintain the traditional Friday abstinence from meat in reparation for sins against life and to rebuild a civilization of love.
If you are not able to abstain from meat on some particular Friday (or if you already customarily always avoid meat), you can offer other penances. For instance, we can be more devoted to prayer by making a holy hour on Friday, or offering another special time of prayer at home. We can engage in works of charity, such as visiting homebound or incapacitated persons (Code of Canon Law, 1249). We should find creative ways to practice charity.
For your wedding reception (or rehearsal dinner, as the case may be), always lovingly offer a non-meat meal alternative for Catholics who wish to observe the traditional Friday abstinence. This way, you can avoid the possibility of giving scandal.