When Laura Ruffner came to Columbus from New Jersey seven years ago to attend Ohio State University, she was like most other students. The plan was to get an education, enjoy the college experience and earn a degree.
A religious vocation wasn’t part of that plan.
But the college years often take young adults in directions they might not have foreseen. And that’s what happened to this Jersey girl.
She did earn her undergraduate degree from Ohio State in business with a minor in history. Along the way, though, her life profoundly changed.
Rather than settling into a job in corporate America or getting married, she was inspired to dedicate her life to the Lord.
On Sept. 8, the feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Laura Ruffner, 25, became Sister Jose Mary when she received the habit of the Order of the Most Holy Savior of St. Bridget of Sweden, commonly known as the Bridgettine Sisters, from Mother Abbess M. Fabia, O.Ss.S., during a Rite of Investiture in Rome. Three other postulants also were given the habit that day.
The ceremony began with postulants and the rest of the community processing into the church while singing a hymn. The postulants then knelt. The mother abbess called each of their new religious names, asked what their intentions were and then put on each a white veil before proceeding with a Gospel reading, prayers and another hymn.
“And then it’s finished,” Sister Jose Mary said. “It was incredibly beautiful.”
A Mass followed the investiture.
Sister Jose Mary is the international order’s first vocation from America in decades. She will now enter what is called a novitiate, which lasts 18 months, before taking the next step in her religious formation.
Whether she returns to Columbus to serve with the Bridgettine Sisters at their convent adjacent to Holy Family Church, only God knows. What’s certain is that the order’s devoted sisters in the diocese played a role in her choosing religious life.
Following are excerpts from an email interview with Sister Jose Mary from Rome. A complete version will be available here.
Family life, upbringing
“I grew up in East Brunswick, New Jersey, the seventh of eight children. We were that out-of-the-norm big Catholic family on the block. We went to St. Mary of Ostrabama parish in South River, which was a Polish church just under 10 minutes from our house.
“It was a good parish but had a very elderly population. I only had six other kids in my year for religious education classes. So, there wasn’t any sort of youth groups or other ways to really get involved as a kid and teenager. I didn’t really think much about faith at all. Mass and regular family rosaries was just something we did, but not something I ever initiated or really looked forward to.
“I went to public school all the way through and was really lucky to have a lot of opportunities in our town. … I was a pretty follow-the-rules kind of kid, nothing too exciting or out of the ordinary.”
Coming to Ohio State
“I went to Ohio State because God wanted me at OSU, but I didn’t know that at the time.
“One day, my mom saw in one of the million college promotional mailings we got that OSU had a merit scholarship for out-of-state students that would bring the price to basically the same as Rutgers (University) in-state. So, we decided to visit, and I went on a tour in the pouring rain, and instead of hating it, every minute I was telling my mom, ‘OMG how amazing is this school!’
“It’s at OSU that I really made my faith my own and had a real encounter with Jesus.
“At the involvement fair, I stopped by the (St. Thomas More) Newman Center table to pick up one of their plants (because, of course, everyone wants a plant) and picked up their schedule of welcome week activities. The next day they were going to have capture the flag on the Oval – and I was in, there was no way I was going to miss an opportunity to play capture the flag, our favorite family/neighborhood game from childhood.
“So I went, but I was a little late, and they had already started playing, and I was standing there – about to run away because I was too scared to try to jump in, when two girls came right up to me and introduced themselves and asked me if I wanted to play.
“I talked to them more throughout that evening and at the end one of them named Anna asked me if I would be interested in joining her Bible study. I said, ‘Maybe, really not sure about it.’
“Later, when she followed up in a text message, the first question I asked her was, ‘I don’t have a Bible here, is that a problem for joining a Bible study?’ She said of course not, she could give me one, and so I said yes, and that little yes was the crack in the door God needed.
“That semester, I started reading Scripture and learning from the other women in that Bible study what prayer looks like, and what a real relationship with Jesus looks like. It changed my world.
“I agreed to sign up for a holy hour on Fridays in the spring, and that broke my heart open even more. Slowly but surely, I was falling in love with Jesus. Then with the many opportunities for retreats and conferences through the Newman Center (and St. Paul’s Outreach, a national organization dedicated to evangelizing college students) my faith just kept growing.
“I had been so shocked when I met people from the Catholic community for the first time because they were just radiating a joy I had never seen before. Later, I realized that joy was from a life given to Jesus!
“SPO was the first time I really experienced praise and worship, which was really pivotal in the beginning of my re-conversion. I also profited majorly from their formation courses and small groups where I learned more about the faith and growing in virtue. Most of all, I was just impacted by the men and women I met who were trying to live out their lives fully for the Lord.”
Beginnings of a calling
“I first thought of a vocation midway through my second year at OSU in January 2017. A friend had shared a talk by a Sister of Life (a religious order dedicated to helping mothers in need and their unborn children), and I watched it and was completely struck by her joy, how young she was and how NORMAL she was!
“I always thought I’d meet a great guy in college, get married and hopefully have a big family. So, the wheels started turning, I ‘internet stalked’ a bunch of orders starting with the Sisters of Life but didn’t go any farther than that because I was pretty intimidated by it all and scared of letting go of my plans.
“Lo and behold, that spring semester we had a vocations course in the SPO formation program. So, throughout the semester we had different talks about discernment, married life, religious life, etc. An SPO alum, Emily Schafer, gave her testimony. As she was talking, I was thinking, ‘Dang it, everything she is saying sounds like me.’
“I knew that the Lord wanted me to talk to her, but I was a little annoyed because I still didn’t want Him ‘to be right’ and have to give up my plans. At the end of her talk, Emily said, ‘So the community I am going to be entering is having a discernment retreat this weekend, and since I came down to Columbus for this, I’ll be driving back to Steubenville tomorrow and can drive anyone who wants to come but might not have a way to get there.
“Then I was like really, ‘Dang it, now I really have to talk to her.’ So, I talked to her and told her I wanted to go but I didn’t know if it would be possible. Then God just cleared away all the things that were blocking me going just like that, and I found myself less than 24 hours after meeting Emily in her car driving three hours away for a discernment retreat.
“God majorly worked in my heart that weekend. The sisters explained religious life so well and what discernment looks like and how important prayer is. The whole time I never felt super drawn to that particular order, but I saw the beauty of their life and the beauty of religious life in general. It was a complete game changer for me and the start of my discernment journey.”
Bridgettines
“Those sisters in Steubenville had suggested having a spiritual director, and Emily had told me about Father Stash Dailey in Columbus, who had been her spiritual director, and recommended I reach out to him.
“It took me until December 2017 to finally meet with him. In that first meeting after I told him my story, he gave me a list of communities that he thought I might be interested in looking into based on what I had said. One of those communities was the Bridgettines!
“Eucharistic Adoration was really instrumental in my conversion in college, and so I was pretty sure I wanted to join a religious community that had Eucharistic Adoration as a part of their daily life. Eucharistic Adoration is a major part of the Bridgettines’ charism, so I was immediately drawn to that.
“I also was immediately drawn to the story of St. Maria Elizabeth Hesselblad, who founded our order in 1911 based on the original Bridgettine Order started by St. Bridget and her daughter St. Catherine.
“The other part I was attracted to was their prayers for unity both in the Church and among the Christian denominations. I have always had a desire to bring people together and to make sure people feel included and welcomed, so the Bridgettines’ focus on hospitality and unity spoke to those desires of my heart.”
Decision to enter religious life
“So, I definitely felt an attraction to the Bridgettines right from the first visit with them in December 2017, but I also was really intimidated by an international order. It was so early in my discernment process that I thought, ‘OK, there is something here, and I do need to come back for another visit at some point, but I’m going to go back to school now and leave it there for now.’
“So, I went back to school. I also looked at other communities of religious and continued meeting with Father Stash.
“I was seriously considering entering with a community of Franciscans even to the point of applying. So, I didn’t look too much into the Bridgettines more because I didn’t want to be confusing myself between two communities. But that summer after graduation the door was firmly shut for me with the Franciscans.
“I had graduated school, my lease with SPO was almost up, I didn’t have a job lined up or anyplace to live. But I was quickly convinced I needed to stay in Columbus. I applied for jobs, and the first interview that I had, I loved the people and the work. Just a few hours after the interview I got a call from the woman who had interviewed me, and she wanted to offer me the job.
“Just like that, God solved the job problem. Then I was put in touch with a woman from Father Dailey’s parish who I would be able to live with for a few months while I looked for an apartment, and, just like that, God also solved the housing problem.
“I started working and attending Holy Family Church. Guess whose convent is right next to Holy Family? Ah, yes, the Bridgettines! Funny how that works, right? So soon I found myself going to their Tuesday Adoration on my way home from work, then joining them for rosary and Vespers on Saturdays, and then Sundays, too.
“A community retreat in March 2020 at the Bridgettines’ motherhouse in Darien, Connecticut was a big confirmation for me that this was the place I was supposed to be. (I ended up) entering officially as an aspirant in February 2021.”
Next step
“So, I finished aspirancy and postulancy, which were the first experiences of life in community. Now I have just entered novitiate. The first year is called the canonical year, which is in the motherhouse here in Rome. It is the time in formation most dedicated to study and prayer as you prepare to take vows. Then we will have the opportunity for a six-month experience in one of our other communities.”
Discernment advice
“Remember that God hasn’t given you a vocation that you are going to be miserable in. Look at where you experience true joy, and peace, that is where God is! … God’s timing is perfect! It’s not always easy, but in the end, He always knows what He is doing. We just have to have patience!”
