Dear Father,
I struggle with scrupulosity. Frequently, it makes going to confession very painful. Do you have any advice for this situation?
-Caroline
Dear Caroline,
I’m sorry that you are carrying this cross of scrupulosity. Depending on the form that your scrupulosity takes, it could have both spiritual and psychological roots. Sometimes the latter is best treated by seeing a professional for counseling. I will not speak about obsessive-compulsive disorders here.
You didn’t mention whether your scrupulosity is affecting other areas of your life or whether it is mostly a matter of affecting your thoughts about sin and confession and God’s mercy. Since I’m a priest and not a psychologist, let me speak about scrupulosity as a spiritual malady.
Typically, this malady occurs when a person is examining his/her conscience in preparation for the Sacrament of Confession. On one hand, we do need to make a very good examination of conscience to investigate where we offended God (and our neighbor) by thoughts, words and actions that are morally deficient, either by commission or omission. For instance, I may have offended God by being rude to another person while driving my car. Or I may have sinned by failing to do something, such as failing to help a person who is need of my help.
On the other hand, some people over-examine their consciences when preparing for Confession. Most people do not have this difficulty. Some people have the opposite problem of not adequately preparing for Confession. Neither over-examination nor laxity in preparing for Confession is healthy.
The spiritual malady of scrupulosity gets its name from the Latin word scrupus, which refers to a sharp stone, and figuratively to anxiety. We’ve all stepped on sharp stones, but having even the tiniest of pebbles in our shoes is more than irritating; it can be downright painful, especially when we can’t get the pebble out of our shoe.
Thus, a scrupulous soul experiences the mental pain of anxiety over usually-small things. I’ve never heard someone confess being scrupulous about whether he or she murdered someone. When it comes to mortal sins, such as murder, it’s not difficult to figure out whether we’ve done something bad or not.
Scrupulosity is marked by a sense of fear, dread, extreme worry or anxiety that some sin or group of sins has not been forgiven by God in the sacrament of penance on account of some defect in the sacramental confession on the part of the penitent or the priest.
Other instances include anxiety about evil thoughts or transgressions against charity, or even errors in prayers, for example, whether I’ve prayed my rosary absolutely accurately. At times, countless hours can be eaten up by the preoccupation with these worries. Even if the scrupulous person arrives at some certain decision about a moral matter, he or she will often begin a re-examination of the matter for fear of having erred or to confirm the conclusion.
Sometimes, scrupulous persons will travel from confessor to confessor in search of relief, but usually end with greater confusion and consternation, feeling greatly misunderstood.
The most important thing you can do with scrupulosity is to obey your priest/confessor. Refuse to consider, even in the smallest way, any sin that has been confessed in the sacrament of penance once you leave the confessional. I read once that St. Ignatius of Loyola heard from a penitent that he wished his priest would command him, as a cure, to never bring up anything from the past.
St. Joseph Cafasso, a 19th century priest who taught moral theology and whom many sought for confession on account of his gentleness and understanding, went so far as to forbid true sufferers of scrupulosity to omit the daily examination of conscience we should all make at the end of the day. He was very demanding of utter obedience of the scrupulous soul in order to bring about trust in God’s mercy.
Furthermore, venial sins (scrupulous persons tend to think that every sin is a mortal sin leading to damnation) are forgiven by small acts of love, such as kissing a crucifix, telling God that we love Him, doing a good deed for someone.
Probably the worst aspect of scrupulosity is the lack of trust in the priest’s counsel. But obedient trust is the only way out from this maze that leads nowhere.
Finally, read Father Thomas M. Santa’s, CSsR, Understanding Scrupulosity: Helpful Answers for Those Who Experience Nagging Questions and Doubts.
God’s mercy is greater than all the world’s history of all sins ever committed. Trust His mercy!
