Dear Father: I went to confession to a priest, and he gave me great advice. However, I couldn’t understand everything he said. So, after he finished hearing confessions, I approached him privately and asked him to explain what he had said to me in the confessional. He refused to discuss the matter and said something about the seal of the confessional. Why wouldn’t he speak to me, especially when I was asking for clarification in a private setting? – A.J.
Dear A.J.: What the priest was referring to is the secrecy that all priests are bound to observe regarding what goes on in the confessional. According to the Canon Law of the Church (No. 983), “the sacramental seal (of penance) is inviolable … it is absolutely wrong for a confessor (i.e., the priest) in any way to betray the penitent (you), for any reason whatsoever, whether by word or in any other fashion.”
Pope Francis, in an address he gave in 2019, emphasized the secrecy of the confessional: “Reconciliation itself is a benefit that the wisdom of the Church has always safeguarded with all her moral and legal might, with the sacramental seal.
“Although it is not always understood by the modern mentality, it is indispensable for the sanctity of the sacrament and for the freedom of the conscience of the penitent, who must be certain, at any time, that the sacramental conversation will remain within the secrecy of the confessional, between one’s own conscience that opens to grace, and God, with the necessary mediation of the priest.
“The sacramental seal is indispensable, and no human power has jurisdiction over it, nor lay any claim to it.”
Another canon (No. 984) insists that “the confessor is wholly forbidden to use knowledge acquired in confession to the detriment of the penitent, even when all danger of disclosure is excluded.”
The inviolability of the confessional seal is rigorously emphasized in seminary training. Priests would rather err on the side of caution and not speak about anything they have learned in the confessional than even be thought to betray a penitent.
The reason that priests so greatly protect the seal is that it belongs only to God to know the conscience of a person. The priest is acting in the person of Christ, who instituted the sacrament of penance and gave the Apostles and their successors and helpers the authority to forgive sins in the sacrament.
I have been in the same situation you describe, having been approached by a penitent to speak further about something said in the confessional. I, too, refused to have such a conversation. But I open the door to discussion in this way:
If I have time on the spot, I ask the person to describe his/her concern about the particular sin and whatever that person understood or did not understand about my counsel. That way, I am not bringing up any sin that the person didn’t want to speak about, especially if there were different kinds of sins, some of which could make the person feel a new sense of shame.
If I don’t have time, I ask the person to make an appointment to see me about the matter.
Moreover, it is possible that more than one person wants to go further into a matter from the confessional, because the parish where I help has long lines for confession. Many people would like spiritual direction about their confessions.
If I were to speak about some sin that I thought that this person had confessed, but he/she did not (because the voice sounded like someone I heard in the confessional), I would be acting contrary to the canons I quoted above. Confusion is removed when the penitent who is seeking clarification actually mentions the sin or problem that he/she confessed as well as the presumed counsel I gave.
Some have erroneously said that a penitent can release a priest from the seal of the confessional, but this is completely false. Quoting Pope St. John Paul II, the Apostolic Penitentiary (the office in Rome that handles matters of mercy and forgiveness of sins) wrote in 2019:
“The absolute prohibition imposed by the sacramental seal is such as to prevent the priest from speaking of the content of the confession to the penitent himself, outside of the sacrament, without the ‘explicit (and all the more so if not requested) permission’ of the penitent.
“The seal therefore lies beyond the reach of the volition of the penitent who, once the sacrament has been celebrated, does not have the power to relieve the confessor of the obligation to secrecy, because this duty comes directly from God.”
A Catholic priest would rather die a martyr than betray even the smallest of venial sins. And some have!
Clarification concerning my previous column on weddings in parks: A reader noted that some could get the idea that couples, at least one of whom is Catholic, have sought permission to be married outside a Catholic church. In point of fact, a Catholic who has not been practicing the faith probably would not consider the necessity to seek permission for a non-church wedding. As a result, the marriage would not be valid.
