Retreat encourages young women to look to Mary as model

A retreat for young women ages 18 to 30 was held on the morning of Saturday, Aug. 24 in the convent of the Order of the Most Holy Savior of St. Bridget, known as the Bridgettine Sisters, located adjacent to Columbus Holy Family Church.

The retreat, centered on truth, beauty and goodness and inspired by the Blessed Mother, offered practical ways to live out the virtues as a young woman.

The morning began with Mass at Holy Family Church, celebrating the feast of the Apostle St. Bartholomew, followed by a light breakfast and discussion in the convent’s Madonna Hall.

Diocesan seminarian Deacon Joey Rolwing, who is anticipated to be ordained to the priesthood next spring, and Sister Jose Mary, an Ohio State University graduate who will make her first procession of vows this month with the Order of the Most Holy Savior of St. Bridget, served as speakers.

The Bridgettine Sisters sang Marian hymns for the women between the two talks.

The retreat was organized by several local young women who developed relationships with the Bridgettine Sisters. Avery Hays, a Columbus Bishop Watterson High School graduate, helped coordinate the retreat and served as a host for the morning.

“We just want to explore ways that we can live our lives because there’s so much influence and influence around us as women,” Hays said. “Sometimes, it’s hard to know exactly who we’re supposed to be and who we’re called to be, but really, if we look to our Blessed Mother, we know.

“We know that she’s our prototype. And today, Deacon Joey and Sister Jose Mary just laid it out for us, how to use Mary as our prototype to live beautiful lives as women.”

In her talk with the young women, Sister Jose Mary discussed the importance of and ways to emulate Mary as a young woman in every vocation – single, married or consecrated religious.

Sister Jose Mary spent the last few years at the Bridgettine motherhouse in Rome for her novitiate, which prepares an individual for a vowed life. The novitiate stage is a time to deepen knowledge of the order’s charism and spirituality while living in poverty, chastity and obedience.

She explained that the Blessed Mother’s perfection of virtue should not discourage young women or make them feel distant from her. Rather, Mary’s perfection of virtue keeps her close to them and helps them encounter the living God.

She told the women to look to Mary to bring God into every moment of their lives.

She also reflected on St. Maria Elisabeth Hesselblad, who reestablished the Bridgettine order in 1911. Sister Jose Mary explained St. Elisabeth’s belief that Bridgettine convents are to be houses modeled after the Holy Family’s house in Nazareth – a home of prayer, work and sacrifice.

In simple, everyday tasks, Sister Jose Mary encouraged young women to think how Mary completed a task. She said the Blessed Mother’s tasks would have been oriented toward the Holy Trinity.

Young women can do the same, she explained, by putting every task in the hands of Mary. She encouraged them to offer a prayer before each task, assuring them it will be a pleasing offering to God.

“We can only bring Jesus to others if we have encountered Him ourselves,” Sister Jose Mary said.

Sister Jose Mary also noted that some might wonder why the Bridgettine Sisters do not teach or go out into the world, but rather, stay in their convent. She said there can be a temptation to think, “What is God going to do with that?” However, she said, such a thought pattern is “putting God in a box.”

She recalled that Mary was the wife of a carpenter and spent much time in the home, yet God raised her above all the saints, many of whom spent their lives in the world outside of the home. 

Sister Jose Mary noted that Mary was completely God’s in all that she did. It was the Blessed Mother’s receptivity to the Father’s will and complete surrender to it – her “yes” – that raised her above all.

She told the women that they, too, are called to offer their daily lives and ordinary joys and sorrows to God.

Sister Jose Mary said that holiness is “every day.” She iterated that a person does not become holy at a certain point or when a certain life event happens.

“You will not become holy when, fill in the blank,” she told the young women. 

As an example, it can be tempting for an individual to think they will become holier once they enter into a certain state or vocation. On the contrary, holiness is in the present moment.

She also noted that Jesus used the last breath He had on the cross to “make sure we know we have a mother.” (John 19:27)

She asked the young women to imagine the Blessed Mother’s pierced heart. In that moment, while it might not have seemed so, she knew He would make all things good.

Reflecting on Christ’s three days in the tomb, Sister Jose Mary asked the audience to keep Mary company as “we await the Resurrection of her Son.” She suggested attending Mass on Saturday mornings.

In the Church, Saturdays are ordinarily dedicated to Mary because on Holy Saturday, the day before the Resurrection of the Lord, Mary awaited the Resurrection with assured hope. St. Thomas Aquinas noted that the Blessed Virgin remained unshaken in faith on Saturday after the death of her Divine Son.

Deacon Rolwing followed Sister Jose Mary with a talk on Mary as a woman of truth, beauty and goodness and how young women in every vocation can become a woman of truth, beauty and goodness themselves.

He noted that the Blessed Mother completely surrendered to the will of God in trust and obedience. Unlike the first woman, Eve, Mary knew she was loved by the Father. 

She might have had reasons to doubt, Deacon Rolwing said, but inherently knew she was loved so she totally surrendered. She stood by her profession of faith, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord,” and surrendered not only at the Annunciation but even at the Crucifixion.

He also highlighted Mary’s upbringing in the Jewish temple. She was taught the Jewish scriptures and constantly meditated on the word of God. The young Mary is often depicted with a book on her lap.

He explained that the Blessed Virgin is immaculate – she contains no selfishness or egotism. Rather, she exudes pure and uninterrupted love and a heart full of grace.

Highlighting her beauty, Deacon Rolwing said Mary was the most beautiful creature God has ever created. She is “His masterpiece.”

He noted that many recorded apparitions describe the Blessed Mother as the most beautiful woman the visionary had ever seen. Several also describe there being a beautiful fragrance about her.

However, he said, her beauty is not primarily exterior. Mary is interiorly beautiful because her soul is full of grace.

“She helps me love with a pure heart,” Deacon Rolwing said of the Blessed Mother.

He then explored some ways to live as a woman of truth, beauty and goodness.

In today’s world, many fill their hearts and minds with other worldly things. However, he said, every individual’s mind and heart needs space to ponder God’s word and what He is doing in their life.

Deacon Rolwing encouraged young women to fill themselves with good things and embrace the truth of their femininity.

He said Mary is the perfect and truest expression of what it means to be a woman. He said she is so as a spouse, both of the Holy Spirit and St. Joseph, and as a mother.

In today’s climate, while many reject marriage and motherhood, Deacon Rolwing presented Mary’s role as spouse and mother as the “way forward.”

He said God has placed a motherly desire in each woman’s heart. He noted that being a spouse and mother exists in every vocation – single and consecrated religious, too.

In religious life, women live totally consecrated to their spouse – the Lord. They are not married to any particular man, Deacon Rolwing said, but “the Man.”

St. Edith Stein, in her “Essays on Woman,” wrote that deepest longing of a woman’s heart “is to give herself lovingly, to belong to another and to possess this other completely. This longing is revealed in her outlook: personal and all-embracing, which appears to us as specifically feminine.”

St. Edith also wrote that women are infused with a feminine genius and love with a mother’s heart. They nourish and cherish.

Inspired by Mary, women must be a handmaid of the Lord, Deacon Rolwing said. He encouraged the young women to live out their femininity as spouse and mother in whatever state of life they are in.

He also encouraged them to root out sin and selfishness, to transition from being person-centered – which includes vanity and focus on self – to being oriented toward others.

He also addressed common female temptations toward comparison and a desire to possess another person’s attributes or talents rather than cultivate them. 

In relationships, Deacon Rolwing said the other should be respected as a gift. He noted how, sometimes, women can be manipulative in relationships, manipulating how they want the other to be rather than respecting who he is, or trying to get him to think how they do.

Deacon Rolwing encouraged young women to see the other always as a gift. The Blessed Mother is the perfect example.