Retreat offers moms, daughters a chance to grow closer in faith

For mothers and daughters seeking to bond in faith and celebrate their God-given gift of femininity, the Saint Philomena Mother-Daughter Retreat, which offers a whole-person approach by celebrating and educating on the body, mind, spirit and social aspect of young women, could be considered a dream come true – literally.

The retreat, which helps mothers and their daughters ages 11-14 grow closer to Christ and each other while exploring God’s gift of femininity, was inspired by a dream approximately 16 years ago. 

The founder, Genine Telepac, while seeking to establish a retreat for young girls, discovered a book on the life of St. Philomena, an early Christian virgin and martyr who consecrated herself to God at a young age. The book belonged to Telepac’s mother, who had recently died. Telepac experienced a deep connection to her mother while reading the book.

The following Mother’s Day, “she had a dream – a very vivid dream – in which St. Philomena appeared to her and told her that she wanted to be the patroness of this retreat and that Genine should not be afraid to write this retreat herself with her team of people and that St. Philomena would ask God to bless their efforts,” said Kris Forbes, director of the retreat.

The Saint Philomena Mother-Daughter Retreat, based in the Phoenix area, came to western Ohio for the first time last year at the Spiritual Center of Maria Stein. It will be held at the retreat center, located in Maria Stein, Ohio, again this summer on July 26-28.

The retreat, which is entirely volunteer run, offers a series of talks, mainly led by mothers and their grown daughters who previously attended the retreat. It also includes various activities and one-on-one time for mothers and their daughters.

Forbes said talks are based on Biblical wisdom and draw from Pope St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body and his apostolic letter Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women). They also explore the “feminine genius,” a phrase made popular by the pope’s 1995 Letter to Women that refers to the unique gifts women have to offer.

Forbes said there is time for mother-daughter discussion after the talks at the retreat, and discussion questions are provided for mothers. 

She said the goal is to open a path of communication between mothers and daughters. For the young girls, she said, it is especially important to set a precedent of communication with their mothers.

“It’s really important that we are opening that pathway because we do believe that parents are the primary educators of their children, as we’re told in the Catechism,” Forbes said.

The retreat is intentionally designed. From the retreat grounds to the décor, in every detail, the retreat coordinators ensure the retreat is beautiful, as beauty is a reflection of God.

“People are drawn to truth, beauty and goodness, and so, we want to have a beautiful statue of Mary. We want to have beautiful flowers. We want to have table coverings and beautiful music so that we can be drawn in and look to God, the source of truth, beauty and goodness,” Forbes said.

During the retreat, mothers and daughters explore the body as being good and a reflection of God. They also learn that “female” has meaning and discuss the feminine nature.

The retreat explores “spiritual motherhood,” which Pope St. John Paul II discussed in his Letter to Women.

“In our body, as females, we have a receptive nature, and we have a life-giving nature, and so, we really try to focus for the girls on their age – they’re not actual mothers, but they’re all spiritual mothers – we have this gift of empathy, this gift of life giving, this gift of being aware of situations, being able to read body language and maybe nonverbal communication, which allows us to respond in a motherly sense and bring life to the world that way,” Forbes said.

The retreat also explores vocations. The girls learn about the various ways God could be calling them.

“We talk about vocation – you’re called to a vocation, that it can be religious life, that some people are called to remain single for an amount of time or indefinitely and some people are called to marriage,” Forbes said.

For the vocation to marriage, the retreat offers a talk on sexuality and the marital embrace. Forbes said “martial embrace” is the name used because of the age range of girls, and it is a new concept to some of them. She said mothers can opt out and discuss the topic with their daughter privately if they prefer.

“Most moms are really looking for help with this,” she said. “They don’t feel equipped to have this conversation, and so, we’re trying to meet the need of the mom who felt ill-equipped to have these conversations but do it with them present and offer them an opportunity for discussion afterward – one-on-one discussion with their daughter – with guided discussion questions.”

The retreat offers a whole-person approach to God’s design for sexuality. The concept is explored in a talk on the martial embrace.

“Of course, if God says they will be one, the two will become one flesh, as it says in the Bible that God has a plan for that and a reason for that,” Forbes said. “I think that that’s unique in our retreat that it’s not just about the physical but really understanding the whole person.”

She said many mothers benefit from hearing the talks. It is good for them to be reminded of God’s design for their vocation as a wife and mother.

“For a lot of the moms, they’re hungry for this message, too – the truth, the beauty and goodness of their vocation, their dignity as women,” Forbes said. “It’s very healing for them to hear this as well.”

Mothers and daughters also explore friendship. They discuss Aristotle’s three levels of friendship: a friendship of utility, pleasure and virtue, as well as verses in the Bible regarding friends. She said the girls learn “what a blessing a true friend is and how sometimes that does take time, and it’s a rare treasure to find a good friend.”

The retreat also includes a talk on dating. A newly engaged or married young woman shares her story with the participants. Forbes said this sets the stage for “God’s great love story.”

The retreatants explore “deal breakers” in dating, too, she said. Understanding that they are made in the image and likeness of God, girls can then discern with their mothers what is necessary and good in a dating relationship. Mothers and daughters brainstorm deal breakers together. 

“That can be anything from the very light ‘he has to love dogs and be a dreamy dream boat’ to – a lot of girls have really great like, ‘He needs to be Catholic, … he needs to go to Mass on holy days, needs to treat his mom well,” she said. “It’s really beautiful to see, and we encourage the girls to hold on to those, update them each year, pray over them, pray for their future spouse if they’re called to marriage.”

Activities at the retreat include crafts and a fashion show, where the girls make dresses out of tissue paper. 

There is also free time. Forbes said it is encouraged that the free time be between mothers and their daughters. They can do a scavenger hunt, play board games and explore the retreat grounds.

“Moms who are taking the time to bring their daughters on these retreats, that makes the girl feel so special and loved to bond with their mom in that way,” she said.

The mother-daughter integration helps young girls “to really understand that, ‘My mom’s gone through this, too. She was once my age. She’s going to walk me through this, and I have an identity within my family as a daughter,’’’ Forbes said. “I think that’s really why it’s so timely right now.”

Tonya Moorman of Anna, Ohio, and her daughter, Isabelle, 12, attended the retreat together at Maria Stein last summer. She decided to attend the retreat, thinking it could offer Isabelle more information than Moorman had for her daughter in her toolbox.

She said the sessions addressed “things I never even really thought about talking about with my daughter, so I learned some things with that, too.”

She said the retreat fostered communication between her and her daughter. As a result of the retreat, Moorman believes Isabelle is more comfortable asking questions and coming to her for answers.

“She would ask me even more questions, even about faith and just about adulthood, womanhood and stuff like that,” Moorman said. “She’s never been afraid to come to me with any questions, and I think that that’s helped her to open up even more after the retreat.”

They also benefited from hearing that their femininity is a gift from God, and they are each a gift to be given. Moorman said she never thought about herself as a gift, and she found the talk to be beautiful.

Learning how they uniquely reflect God as women also altered how they view each other.

“Sometimes I’ll get down on myself, but my daughter picks up on that, and I don’t want my daughter to pick up on that because that’s just a bad role model, and I don’t want to be like that, but she will even say, ‘You are a gift from God,’ like, ‘You’re made in the likeness of God,’ and I’m like, ‘You are absolutely right,’ and so, we’ll say that to each other all the time,” Moorman said.

Isabelle wrote her favorite Scripture verses from the retreat and then rewrote them in a prayer journal that Moorman gave her. After the retreat, Isabelle shared her experience with her father and younger siblings.

Moorman said Isabelle enjoyed telling the family about the St. Philomena dress-up activity, which they did with other mothers and daughters, and how she was chosen to be dressed as the saint.

During their free time, Moorman and Isabelle explored the grounds, completed puzzles together and did a scavenger hunt that included locating several saint statues. The time spent together could be considered as valuable as the knowledge they gained.

“A lot of people would hesitate spending the money, … you know, ‘Should I do that?’” Moorman said. “A lot of times we don’t think twice about spending money on an electronic device, but I just thought, this is for diving more into our faith and this for our kids, that’s why it’s definitely worth it.”

For more information and to register for this year’s retreat, visit www.philomenaretreat.org.