The Columbus diocese and Springs in the Desert Catholic ministry are partnering to support couples carrying the cross of infertility with a free event on Saturday, June 25 at 8:30 a.m. at Gahanna St. Matthew Church.
The mini-retreat will begin with Mass, followed by a light breakfast and short, inspiring reflections.
Springs in the Desert accompanies those struggling with infertility by offering a place of respite and solidarity where they can know God’s love and discover His unique call to fruitfulness. The ministry was co-founded by Dr. Kimberly Henkel, a parishioner of Mount Vernon St. Vincent de Paul Church, and Ann Koshute.
“I never would have expected the beautiful path God had prepared for my husband and me when we first found ourselves struggling with infertility,” Henkel said. “We had gotten married a little later in life and were hoping to have a large family. So, it came as a shock to discover that we were unable to conceive.”
The grief of being unable to have a child can be compounded by the feeling of isolation. Henkel felt blessed to find a friend who shared that she, too, was experiencing infertility.
“Ann (Koshute) and I had both attended graduate school at the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage & Family and had devoted our lives to serving God. It was very difficult reconciling our faith in a God of miracles with our personal struggles with infertility. We talked about how we wished there was some spiritual support and community for us offered by the Church.”
Through their conversations, Henkel and Koshute discovered that they both were experiencing isolation and stress on their marriages, as well as feelings of being forgotten by God. When they were asked in 2018 to write an article on infertility for the online journal Humanum, they recognized the call of the Holy Spirit to walk with other women like them. They founded Springs in the Desert to be a place of accompaniment and community for women and men.
“Infertility is a very isolating experience, because those struggling with it can feel ashamed of being childless when they see their friends and loved ones having children,” Koshute said. This isolation extends to their parish families, too. It can be very difficult for a couple to come to church week after week, surrounded by families with children. The sadness and helplessness the couple experience can also stress their marriage.
“Like many other challenges couples face, infertility has the capability to strain marriages, in some cases to a breaking point,” said Edward Luersman, a licensed professional counselor and parishioner of Worthington St. Michael Church.
“Infertility can create or increase depressed mood, anxiety and irritability in couples and can lead them to feel isolated from, or unsupported by, each other; however, infertility also has the potential to unite couples if they face the issue together.”
“In my own personal story, my husband and I began discerning a call to adopt, so we signed up with the local Children’s Services to foster to adopt,” Henkel said. After some time, they received their first placement, a newborn boy, whom they adopted.
Soon after, they adopted twin baby girls, who were just five months younger than their son. A few years later, they fostered, then adopted, another newborn son.
“Our infertility caused us so much pain. We thought all our dreams for our life together as a family were broken. Instead, God fulfilled them in ways we never expected but have blessed us so abundantly,” Henkel said.
“Some people may fear that they might not be able to love an adopted child as much as a biological child. We cannot imagine loving our children any more than we do! Adopting has revealed to us how every child belongs to God. We get the privilege of raising our children, but all of them are first and foremost God’s children.”
While not every couple struggling with infertility will be called to adopt, Springs in the Desert hopes to inspire couples to find the fruitfulness that God has planned for them. Henkel said, “So many couples worry that God is punishing them, but we want to affirm that God loves them and has a plan to bring fruitfulness to their marriage.”
Koshute agreed and said that, for couples struggling with infertility, being part of a community of support can help them to discover the many unique ways God is bringing about new life through them.
“Being able to share my struggle with Kimberly helped me to process my infertility. Now, God is giving my husband and me more opportunities to be fruitful than we could have ever hoped possible. This is the hope we want others who are struggling to be able to find. There is hope, healing and fruitfulness in Christ!”
“Our Springs in the Desert team is excited to host this mini-retreat in Columbus,” Henkel said. “We are hoping it will provide the opportunity for those who are struggling with infertility to be uplifted, to help discover the fruitfulness that God has for them right now and to find friendship with others on this same path.”
For more information and to register, visit springsinthedesert.org/columbus. Questions? Email [email protected].
