Recently, I went on pilgrimage to Medjugorje, Bosnia Herzegovina. One of the highlights for me was climbing Cross Mountain or Krizevac on the morning of Pentecost.
There is a beautiful cross that the villagers erected at the top of the mountain in 1933 for the 1,900th anniversary of Christ's crucifixion; this was done many decades before pilgrims began visiting Medjugorje as a spiritual pilgrimage to the place where Our Lady, Queen of Peace began appearing to six young visionaries in 1981 and continues to be present to them today.
A group of about 25 people, all ages, from my pilgrimage group climbed Cross Mountain together on the morning of Pentecost and I have some reflections to share with you.
As I stood at the foot of the mountain on that warm May morning, I looked up at the steep rise and the endless, giant, craggy rocks, and I wasn’t sure of my decision to do this anymore.
Isn’t that like the challenges in our lives? When we are faced with a trial, challenge or a Cross, our initial inclination is to run away or ask Jesus to take it away. It feels daunting, overwhelming, and we don’t know if we can do it. We forget, even for a moment, that we are never alone -- Jesus is always with us through it all and that all things are possible with Him.
I was with a special group, a community, composed of beautiful new and old friends, all ages, from all over the world. We are truly sisters and brothers in Christ and we would ascend and descend together. I would have gone home had there not been the love and support of our pilgrim community that is madly in love with Jesus.
So, I took a step. One. Step. At. A. Time. My heart was racing. I’m physically active and I knew I was strong, but I have a pacemaker, so my heart rate gets up there, which is OK, but still, it was disconcerting to feel my heart pounding so hard and fast in my chest.
Trust. Jesus, I trust in you. I trust that you are here with me, that you have placed the people I need around me and that I can do this. My first big, holy lesson was to trust Jesus totally, trust my body and trust the people He placed with me.
We made it to the first station, second station and third station. We prayed the Stations of the Cross the entire way up. I can do this. Someone even handed me the booklet to read the reflection at one of the stations. Lord, give me the voice to proclaim your love, your victory, and your sacrifice. Blessed Mother Mary, I feel you close.
Our Lady’s presence is everywhere in Medjugorje and she was with me on that mountainside. I felt her love and tenderness. I felt her nudging me along and even prompting me to slow down and to enter in to this experience — to stop striving and start really trusting. How must she have felt walking the Way of the Cross with Her Son? My eyes teared up as I thought about her pain, her sadness and her strength in accepting that this was how it had to be. My steps grew steadier and my heart pounding seemed less intense.
We continued our ascent. At one point, we bunched up a bit as we moved into a narrower stretch of the mountain. I took a bigger step forward than normal and I began to fall backward, clearly off balance. There was no fear, no shriek, no panic, surprisingly. There was a supernatural calm around me as one member of our group put his hand on my back and gently pressed me forward. I didn’t miss a step. I didn’t fall. Jesus, you are truly watching over me and our group. Gratitude and joy moved me onward. Lord, you are truly alive in us!
We hiked with a good cadence at this point, seeking shade and a bit of rest and water at each station. I noticed an elderly woman and her adult daughter gently guiding her exactly where to place her feet with each step. Many examples of patience and perseverance around us.
We had some dear ones in our group checking in on others to make sure we were all OK. It was a beautiful symphony of love, support, kindness and joy in the spirit of the Acts of the Apostles. I began to pray for the intercession of the 12. I rejoiced in the remarkable transformation of the first apostles on Pentecost hovering in fear in the Upper Room — and then all of a sudden, full of zeal and courage to proclaim the love and truth of Jesus after receiving the fullness of the Holy Spirt. Jesus, pour this into us in a new way today!
I continued to pray … the Hail Mary prayer, the Surrender prayer, offering step after step for my son whose birthday happened to be on that day, for my daughter, my mom, my husband and all of our extended family, friends, my parish, diocese, ministries, our country, our world, our priests — for those who had asked me to pray and for their intentions. Unlike most days, there was plenty of time to pray.
We reached the top of the mountain and we paused to rest and pray and to give thanks at the beautiful cross. I found a shady spot and sat on a rock to reflect and rest before the journey down the hill — honoring this blessed time and honoring my body, made in His image, thank you Jesus.
Most pilgrims dislike the descent even more than the ascent. We are tired, it’s slow and it can be especially hard on the knees with greater risks for falling. For me, it was peaceful. After conquering the ascent, I began the hike down on my own — not with the group — as many of us did. I was lost in my thoughts and prayers, now fully entered into this experience of body, mind and soul united with Jesus through Mary. There was no fear; I could hear myself say, just take a step and another step. Be aware, be in the present moment, do not rush, stay close to me Jesus.
I walked a bit behind a friend who did the entire hike barefoot. I prayed for her and her intentions. Keeping an eye on her freed me from thinking about myself and my needs.
At one point, there was finally a spot of flat, open dirt with no rocks, and I thought, wow, isn’t this nice? Those rocks are interminable! I took a confident step, slipped and fell while taking the easiest step I’d taken all day. I sat there for a minute on my bum asking the Lord for the lesson in this. As passersby asked if I was OK, and I said yes, laughing, I realized that I’d lost my focus, got a little cocky and had taken my eye off the terrain and also off of Jesus. When Peter set out of the boat to walk on water, and he took his eyes off Jesus, He began to sink. That made me smile. So many lessons on the mountainside!
We returned to town in time for the Pentecost Mass and we were ever so thankful that everyone in our group made it up and down the mountain without injury. We praise you Jesus for coming to us in this very special way, on such a special day, I continue to reflect on how you are working in us, and through us, and on all of the mountains in our lives.
