I live a love story every day, but it is not a fairy tale. It is rather one I hold with abundant gratitude and protect fiercely. People often remark how unusual it is to be this in love after 27 years of marriage. Our children roll their eyes in mock uncomfortableness when they see us dance in the kitchen, comment on the attractiveness of the other, or catch us smooching in the hallways. They also see the other side that is the call to order when we are not right with each other, the care and compassion when one of us falls sick, the support and encouragement we give to each other in our jobs, our parenting, and our goals.
My elderly father reached out to me recently to tell me he was going to “break it off” with his girlfriend of many years. It is an interesting stage of life when you begin to parent your parents. Lord have mercy on my children when we reach that stage of life.
I explained to him the importance of supporting one another and communicating openly. As I listened to my dad lay out feelings, I have honestly had in my relationship with my husband and undoubtedly he with me, I pondered why we are different. Why in a culture where it is the norm when things get hard do we not call it quits?
It is hard to communicate to a young married couple the gift of sacramental grace. When we stood before the Lord and spoke our vows to each other, the excitement honestly outweighed our realization of the lifelong gift that was being bestowed upon us. But that gift is one that has bound us, held us, sustained us, and encouraged us in so very many ways throughout our marriage.
There have been intense seasons of suffering for a child or for each other. We have weathered these storms by drawing closer to each other. As I spoke to my dad, I quoted some Scripture that has been a light post for me in dark times. In 1 Peter, 4:8, Peter reminds us that “Above all else, love each other deeply.” For me, that means that even when I am frustrated, hurt, angry or just plain tired, as raising eight children will make one feel, if I love my husband deeply, it is worth the sacrifice. It is worth the effort.
I also think frequently on John 3:30 where we are reminded that “He must increase and I must decrease.” Putting someone else above yourself teaches humility. I don’t hide my needs, thoughts, hurts or opinions, but rather prayerfully give them to God and ask Him for the timing to discuss them if at all.
There is always a safe place for me to share my heart with my husband, but the Lord knows it better than I do. I ask Him to help me love others more than myself and my own emotions. The Lord’s timing is always better, and the grace given in turning to Him has strengthened our marriage in countless ways. Again, my heart bursts with gratitude for that gift.
Our culture often searches for the perfect. We live in a culture that can have what we want in the moment delivered to us instantaneously. Relationships do not work that way, at least not the ones that last a lifetime.
Marriages are strengthened by calling upon the grace that is available to you through the sacramental vows you made to each other. We choose to love and laugh our way through our mishaps and to hold tight to each other and to the Lord in the storms. This love story is one worth living out day by day. I am amazed by its beauty.
