The work of mothering lasts a lifetime. When I began this journey, I thought it was a work devoted to my children. Little did I know then, but it was a work given to me by the Lord not only to lift my children to Him but also to form me closer to His heart.
There is a pouring out in motherhood, a selfless, hope-filled giving that enables us to serve joyfully and to persevere through the growing pains of raising children to adulthood. Having launched four of my eight children into the young adult world, I am reflecting on the growth in myself, the growth in my children and the growth I still need.
Letting go of adult children is never easy. There is a realization that no matter their age, our children belong to the Lord. I remember saying to myself often, “What faith the Lord must have in me!”
Even then I knew He had entrusted them to me, but like the parable of the talents, they still belong to Him. I wish I had taught myself to continually give them back to the Lord as a young mom. Perhaps it would have made this part of motherhood easier. For there is a ripping, a tearing of heartstrings, as I learn to let go.
Looking back, there were times of suffering and strife, frustration and anger when I would yell out to the Lord that I did not know what to do. I thought of Hannah who gave Samuel to Eli at the temple. I used to joke with my parish priest, asking if that was still possible. He would smile and remind me that, as Mother Mary was chosen for our Savior, I was chosen for these children.
So now what do I do, as they are out in the world facing temptations and living in a culture caught up in selfishness and sin? How do I step back and trust?
Prayer and surrender are key, and as mothers we are used to doing both. We change diapers, we make meals, we help with schoolwork, drive to activities and stay up late when hearts need mending.
I am learning now to pray into all those moments that my children are learning to navigate themselves. Praying becomes the doing, and it is holy ground. In prayer, I speak of the sorrow and the pride, the joy and the gratitude, my worries and hopes, and I trust that the Lord hears the integrity of my heart.
I am finding peace in the constancy of prayer. I am finding peace in getting myself to Mass more often or to Adoration. A dear friend taught me the joy of asking my children’s guardian angels to go to Mass for them every day – such a beautiful offering for them!
In adopting this new routine of surrendering and praying for my children, I notice how the Lord works in my life. How he is forming me to be a better mother even when it goes against what I want to do. The Lord is showing me what I need to do.
The beautiful thing about being human is that we have such a capacity for growth and change, and in that growth is where we become more who we were created to be and closer to Him who made us.
