Patience is one of those virtues that seems easy, but in a world of next day delivery and streaming movies at the click of a button, growing in patience might actually be harder than it used to be. When I was in college and into my mid twenties, I found that I would pray for patience often, especially when I felt like things were not going my way or as quickly as I had hoped. It’s funny how God never just “poof!” granted me patience though, but opportunities to grow in patience. As a mother of two toddlers now, I don’t often pray for patience anymore; I have lots of opportunities to grow in patience now!
Our son is learning to be patient himself as his free will develops more and more each day. One way that he is practicing right now is his watermelons growing in the garden. He loves watermelon and is so excited to grow them this summer, but is still learning to understand that they won’t produce fruit overnight. Each morning before we go out to check on the garden and he asks if they are ready to pick. We lovingly remind him that it will still be a while longer and when he sees that the plants are still small, he understands.
It would be amazing if we could have such clarity with matters of patience in our lives; to look onto any situation and know immediately if something was ready or not. But patience is a skill we have to practice and God’s timing can be challenging for us. As one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit though, we can grow in patience which will ultimately help us grow in our relationship with Christ.
But how do we explain to our children how to live patiently? Just like God giving me opportunities to grow, we allow our children opportunities to practice and grow in patience. Living within a family presents many opportunities for growth in patience, from waiting for dinner to be ready to sharing toys, practicing patience can be a daily (or even hourly) opportunity in the domestic church.
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It is important that our children see that patience doesn’t necessarily mean an extra reward beyond what we are already waiting to receive. True patience grows over time. When we play the “if you wait, then you can have ____” this only leads to unrealistic expectations for the future and feelings of entitlement.
Rather, when we remove the element of a reward for patience, we are able to truly practice patience and place our hope in the Lord, knowing that he will provide for us what we need. In Romans 5:4-5, we read that “endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
I know that for myself, I can look back at times where I had to wait for what the Lord had in store for me. When the fruit of that waiting was granted, the end result was more than I could have imagined. The waiting to find my spouse felt long, but the joy our marriage has brought me makes time fly. The waiting for our children was challenging in many ways, but their smiles now melt our hearts.
Like me, my son will soon have a moment where the fruit was worth the wait and he won’t remember all of the days that he waited. Of course he won’t be a master in patience by the end of the summer, but this will help set the foundation needed for the rest of his life. With time, he will learn that there isn’t always an obvious fruit to our waiting and patience, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t fruit. We all need to learn this at some point in time and learn to rest in the Lord as we wait, knowing that he will provide.
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When we learn to hope in the Lord, our waiting is transformed. Everyone in life waits at some point or another, but we hope because we know Christ. Our son doesn’t just wait for his watermelons to grow, he knows they will because he’s seen the fruit of our garden before. It doesn’t always go how we plan, but even in off seasons, he can remember the times it did and know that it will again. And so, he has hope, believing he will get to have his watermelons, even when day to day, it might look like nothing is happening.
Of course tomorrow will bring the same question, “Are the watermelons ready yet?” but that’s okay. Each day is a chance for him to grow. A chance for him to see that in the end the Lord will provide. In time he will see that some of life’s longest waiting periods produce the sweetest fruit. Maybe it will even come in the form of a watermelon.